My World (Feminine Style)

Thoughts about love, liberty, disco

Relationship Rule #2: Deal with your Junk. September 22, 2010

Filed under: Relationships — katiereich @ 10:08 am
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#2 Deal with your Junk.

Josh and I realized very quickly that if we did not deal with the past hurts and hang-ups in our individual lives, we would never be able to move forward in our relationship. We would always be playing with a short deck.

You have to know yourself, but for that to happen you have to be okay with who you are and what you bring to the table. You cannot continue to live out of the expectations of others, or a desire to please anyone, outside of Jesus. Healing in Christ allows you to see yourself as whole in Him, and when we are able to do this then you are freed to give yourself unselfishly to your mate and those around you.

If you are harboring past hurts then you will always react out of those wounds (more on this tomorrow). Josh and I watch people and relationships all of the time, in an effort to learn what to do and not to do in relationships and life. A specific couple comes to mind: they got married very young, to escape their family lives, and then moved around frequently because of the military. After we met them it became apparent that they still treated each other like they were wounded 19 year olds, although they had high school age kids. They were not on the same page, and frequently would back bite each other in front of us. They took out their frustration with each other on those in leadership around them. They were not able to deal with conflict, and either blew up at it (the husband) or would pretend that it was not there (the wife). They kept their lives SO busy with good things that they did not have time to sit and deal with themselves. They used the relationships around them to give them meaning and fill their wounds.

The sad thing is, you will NEVER reach your full potential if you are paralyzed by the lies that you believe about yourself or those around you. Shake off those chains, and find freedom in Christ to become yourself.

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Why teachers have sex with students, and relationships don’t last… September 17, 2010

Filed under: Family,Relationships — katiereich @ 10:11 am
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My neighbor just told me that a former middle school coach, in our school district, was accused of performing a sexual act on a 15 year old student. Earlier this summer a high school English teacher was arrested for having sexual contact with a student. Is there a way to prevent this?

What about the numerous relationships that end because of unfaithfulness? or porn addiction? or jealousy?

The answer: Boundaries…

Whenever Josh performs a wedding, we meet with the couple and do a series of premarital counseling sessions. This process is usually fun because it allows Josh and I to look back at our relationship, as well as help the couple we are working with get started on the right foot. Of course we always share our “Relationship Rules”. These are a list of unofficial Rules that Josh and I have put into place over the course of our marriage to help safeguard our relationship, and help to make it run more smoothly. So I thought that I would put together an unofficial list of “Relationship Rules”, these are by no means meant for everyone, or should be applied across the board, but hopefully they will help you to think through your relationship or non-relationship and help you to think through what boundaries you should have in your life. Enjoy!

“Relationship Rule ” #1: No (or limited) relationships with people of the opposite sex.

First and foremost severe contact with all past flames and boy/girlfriends. If you are in contact with one, my first question would be why. What do you gain from continuing a friendship with them? It will probably make your spouse jealous, even if they say they aren’t, and they will always appear better then your spouse. You call the old flame and vent about an argument you just had with your husband, that person will tend to side with you, and be a listening ear, which will put a wedge in between you  and your spouse. Not worth it.

There really does not seem to be an upside… So delete all past flames from your facebook, email and skype. Wish them well, but put all of your energy into making your current relationship as amazing as it can be.

This will be a series of posts… so buckle your seatbelt and watch for more. If nothing else you will be amused.

 

The Fall is coming! It is time to break out the apple dips! August 31, 2010

Filed under: Recipes — katiereich @ 9:00 am
Below are two of my favorite fall recipes I hope you enjoy.
Carmel Apple Dip
1 cup butterscotch chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp white vinegar
1/4 – 1/2 tsp cinnamon
mix/melt chips, milk and salt over low/med heat. remove from heat, add vinegar and cinnamon. serve warm, and with apples of course.
Toffee Apple dip
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz cream cheese
1 bag of toffee bits (I have not had luck finding toffee bits at any store but albertson’s here in Tucson, so sometimes I will just buy a six pack of heath bar and crush them. I usually add more then what is called for in the recipe, but who is counting?)
mix well, serve chilled
 

Sunday Morning Review… Ultimate Fighter (2 Tim. 2:1-13) August 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiereich @ 7:00 am

Josh did an awesome job last night of preaching with conviction and authority, always my prayer for him. Just a short review of the night for those who missed it or want to freshen up. Click here to listen.

Why is it that some people are always asking, What is next for me God? What should I do?; while others seem to have a direct connection to what God is doing in and around them? The reason that many of us lack certainty is that we do not know what the prize is.

In 2 Timothy, Paul is writing to Timothy while in prison on death row, and lays out what the prize is for a follower of Jesus.

First, you need to get people around you to help you keep focus and not quit. Next, Paul gives 3 pictures of living life with focus: the Soldier, who has already said yes, and is just waiting for orders. The athlete, who centers his life around his sport, just like we are suppose to center our lives around Jesus. And the Farmer, who does not consider any task too small or thankless when it relates to the harvest. The prize and win for us as Christians is that we can influence people to take the next step in their spiritual journey, and that people with begin a relationship with Jesus.

Take a listen to hear what Josh had to say.

 

My Journey into Motherhood (and, no, this is not a birth story) August 26, 2010

Filed under: Adoption,Family,kids — katiereich @ 10:43 am
Tags: , , ,

I have been sick for the last 10 days, so lacking the energy to do anything really productive, I have been reading. So while my kids were destroying the living room, or watching a family movie while we all were recovering I was sitting nearby reading. I read two books, A Mother’s Heart and a Sane Women’s Guide to Raising a Large Family. Both of these books got me thinking quite a bit about my journey as a mom, and how far God has brought me.

While growing up, I dreamed of climbing the corporate ladder and taking over the world (and no that is not a exaggeration)! I really believed that I was destined for something great, or at least I would prove myself and find worth through work. (All of which is a lie, but I did not know what love was, so it made sense at the time.) Then in college I had an incredible semester with a mentor who had a love for her family that I had never seen. She helped God break into my heart and allowed room for a change in my goals. I felt strongly convicted that I needed to not only be open, but have a heart turned toward having kids and raising a family. Of course, with the stipulation that I could still work if I wanted to ;). When Josh was approaching the end of his Master’s Degree we started talking about starting a family… We hesitated, but then I was reminded of the call God had already put in my life; we were pregnant immediately! (A friend once joked that I only needed to stand downwind from Josh to get pregnant.) And so our journey into parenthood began. Thankfully kids come as little babies, they are easy to tote anywhere, and other then a lack of sleep and a job change, life went on pretty much as normal. I pursued my interests and was excited that our little bundle seemed to fit pretty seamlessly into our routine, and interests.

Here is where things really started to change…

We moved to Arizona, and had Gavin 6 months later, then got pregnant with Ashton, when Gavin was 9 months old. During this time we had some major changes and hardships in our personal lives, plus we started Revolution Church! I did not take the time to think about how we were raising our kids, but instead the little energy I did have was focused on getting through the day. After Ashton was born, I kept myself busy, not because I thought that the activities were that important, but because I was terrified to be at home with 3 kids all day everyday. I remember people being amazed that I had returned to the bible study that I was a part of when Ashton was a day and a half old… It was not because I was uber-spiritual, but because I wanted a  break and the bible study had childcare!

I am not saying that my attending a bible study was wrong, but it was not the best thing because I was abdicating my role as mom. Yes, I was tired, but more then that I was an aimless mom. I was parenting to get through the day, or the morning or the minute, whatever the case may be. Now my kids are a little older, and sleep better, but I wish I would have had someone pull me aside and say, what are you doing as a mom, what are your kids becoming? I may have looked at them bleary eyed and then burst into tears, but maybe I would have realized that I was allowing my energy level and friends, who were intending good, to distract me from the crucial task at hand.

My thoughts about parenting have really started to change over the last few months…

Josh just finished up a parenting series at church, which always challenges us, but this time, we were in a place in our life where God has really used what Josh preached and we learned to take up our parenting a notch or 15.

I think the important thing to note, first, is that none of my journey is ever possible without Josh. As he has grown and changed as a man, husband and father, it has allowed me to change in unison and have the environment to allow God to work in my life.

Last week I was struck, emotionally blown over, by the fact that not only is it my (read Josh and my) responsibility to raise kids who are productive and well mannered, but a huge portion of my kids salvation rests in how I parent my kids. They see, or don’t see, God fleshed out in my life. They see a picture of the gospel in my marriage, how Josh and I relate. And I am pulled to my knees, praying that I have not missed an opportunity to be Christ to my kids. This week I have made a much more contentious effort to pray for my kids salvation, that they would grow up not just knowing about God, but that their lives would be transformed and turned upside-down by the God of the universe. I pray for a multi-generational heritage of faith for my kids and their kids.

With this, I have also seen a change in my attitude as a mom. No longer am I concerned with doing my thing and squeezing in time with my kids in the cracks, but instead I am taking a proactive, sacrificial attitude toward my kids. (Not to the detriment of my own spiritual and emotional health, or the health of my marriage relationship) Realizing that sometimes when they are upset or throwing a fit, they just are crying out for time with mom or dad. We are trying to be intentional and parent with the end in mind! I parent now, not with the goal of behavior modification, but of heart transformation. I am less concerned with my kids parroting the correct answers and acting a certain way, but of allowing discipline to show them that they have a sin problem and are in need of a Savior.

And at the end of the day, I am floored that God has enough trust in me, or at least His power in me, to be a part of changing lives and guiding little hearts to Him. I hope along the way they learn to mind their p’s and q’s, but more then that I hope that my kids are able to leave my house with a faith that cannot be quenched.

I pray that Ava will have her sensitive heart broken for the people in the world who do not know God. That she will use her kind spirit to care for and love people to Christ. I pray that Gavin with his upfront personality, will be able to charismatically, and supernaturally be able to draw people to God, as he is able to draw a crowd so easily, even at 3. I pray that Ashton, with his cute smile and fun personality will go out and share God’s love with boldness and conviction. And now we pray for baby number 4… that his/her unique story of adoption, would fuel his/her heart to see people adopted into God’s family. To find themselves and their identity in a new family, the family of God.

 

Sunday Morning Review: Unstoppable Faith (Joshua 10:1-14) July 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiereich @ 9:30 am

After four weeks off Josh has returned to the pulpit! I know that he, and our family have really appreciated the time off and our time away in Colorado. Josh did a great job talking about unstoppable faith.

Josh started out with a brief summary of Joshua, You can’t, but God can. Joshua, the main character of the book of Joshua, is a lead who follow Moses. Moses is a pretty big deal in the Bible, he is the man who hears God in the burning bush, and leads the Israelites out of slavery. Joshua has BIG shoes to fill. We also know that Joshua is fearful and not bold because of God’s repeated commands to not be afraid. But in God’s economy He often chooses people who we would choose last.

There are basically 2 kinds of people. Impossible people believe that there are things that are too big for God to do. Their view of God is small, and this ends up not only stopping them in their tracks, but not seeing God do amazing things through and around them. It is easier to be this type of person.

The other kind of people are the Sun Stands Still people (see Joshua 10). These are the people who have reached a level of desperation and are terrified to think that God will not do something through them.

If you ever thought your faith was big enough listen here.

 

Sunday “Morning” Review: Nehemiah 11:1-36 April 25, 2010

Filed under: Church,Sunday Morning Review — katiereich @ 3:23 pm

Last night Josh preached through Nehemiah 11, another list of names! He started by asking the question that we usually ask ourselves, What do I do now? What is the next step for me in my relationship with Jesus? In the Bible Paul equates our spiritual life to the progression of our lifestages. As an infant you cannot feed yourself, but must be fed… each stage is unique, but the hard part comes when it is time to let go of what is comfortable and give up those things to get to the next stage. In life stages it is almost forced upon you, but in your spiritual life you have to be ok with it. Too often we are paralyzed in taking the next step because it hurts, or is uncomfortable so we do not believe that it is from God. We too often stay in our “safe place” and wonder where God is. In Nehemiah 11 Josh shows us how the leaders left their comfort and took the huge risk to move into the city… The individuals listed were people from surrounding villages who moved into the city as well. Instead of waiting for God to call them to the easy normal thing, they followed God on his mission, not their own, and by doing that the church reached outside the walls of the city and created a church with a regional mindset…

Listen to the sermon here for more… and be sure to check out Josh’s blog for the next big step that we are taking as a church.